Photo with 10 notes
(678): Okay well someone asked “IS HE HOMELESS?” about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Photo with 36 notes
(606): I’m alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won’t end well.
Photo with 25 notes
(585): Just checked my missed calls… why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
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(208): Disasters an understatement. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Photo with 9 notes
(512): I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the staircaseā¦thanks for encouraging that slut show.
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